Since my last post, I sank into a depression once again and I think that I just kind of shut down once the girls were out of school and the fear set in. I am so scared that I will be a bad parent and that my illness will hinder my relationship with the girls that I get totally overwhelmed.
After speaking with my psychiatrist and my counselor, I realized that the best route for me to take is DBT therapy. This means that I changed my therapist and I will be seeing her once a week. In August, I will start the group work which will be two hours once a week. So, that is a total of three hours a week in therapy! If that doesn't work, I don't really know what to do.
I'm going to share some websites with you about DBT and maybe a few forums and such once I've done the research.
Oh-- before I go, I'd like to explain how I connect this website with certain aspects of the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy Gale goes from a life that she thinks is boring and unfair to this fantasy land that seems to have so much to offer. After an exciting adventure, Dorothy finds out that she always had everything she needed at home and the power to get that all back was with her the whole time. I also have a connection with the field of poppies, because, like me they are frail and yet they have a dark side. I'm not sure if I've always been this way, but I know that these two parts of me have existed since adolescence.
Check back soon for updates.
Jen
